50F and clear this morning. I’m pretty sure I’ve got more outdoor work in my day. Better now than when it’s 100F I guess.
Driveway gate, and vertical multi-band antenna are top of the list, with raised beds pretty near the top too.
I’ll be traveling and away from home Sat. pm thru Thursday next week, so it would be nice to get some seeds in the ground before then.
I guess we’ll see……
n
Sunny and 42f in Memphis.
I am swamped with Email issues today. It seems that our company recently held a big event for sales & marketing in Orlando. Most of the sales staff attended. It looks like someone set up a fake wireless AP in the event venue and collected the ID & Passwords of most of the attendees. So today we are being attacked by scammers using the harvested credentials to take over users email accounts via OWA and send phishing & malware to all their contacts. A security guy’s nightmare. We have been trying to get budget to implement Multi Factor Authentication on O365 but have been shot down. This may be the event that gets enough attention to free up funds.
29º and snowing here. Eldest & I are definitely going to get some CC skiing in.
@Harold – I feel for you.
But I have to ask – how could they get credentials if your folks were using https for OWA? Or were they using credentials in cleartext? I have a handful of sales folks, as well as owners, that have done silly things in the past. If there’s something I should work to prevent, I want to know as early as possible.
It’s like the old “Free WiFi” issue with infrastructure APs Ie. someone with a lappy in the airport boarding area has the capture software running, and their SSID is “Free WiFi” but since it’s a lappy, you have to connect in ‘infrastructure mode’. As I recall, that led to a check box choice for preventing infrastructure connections (which almost no one used anyway.)
Not hard anymore to have an actual AP set up.
People are WAY too casual about connecting to random wifi APs and logging in to sensitive accounts without using a VPN service. The AP owner OWNS your traffic…
n
There are some important points to consider in this article, for you and your “elders” if they are still around. Important points made about thinking they were prepared (pay particular attention to the paragraphs related to trusts) when in fact in many areas they had not followed through with all the had to be done.
I can already see several areas I need to take care of, you might too.
https://www.thebillfold.com/2018/03/5-lessons-from-an-eldercare-emergency/
@Nick – I completely agree. Even at sites where I know the owners, I tend to use my cell or mifi for connection to the internet. I encourage my users to do the same.
My question is how data, entered over https (and presumably encrypted end-to-end) can be stolen? Yes, the AP owner has the traffic, but how does he get in the tunnel?
There is no question in my mind that VPN is better, but sometimes it’s not realistic, especially when a sales weenie has to use a convenience kiosk because his laptop isn’t available.
There is no such thing as “free WiFi”. Anyone who connects to it and any person or company that provides it is just plain stupid.
I have a hobby of looking at free WiFi when I am at various places. The majority of the time a business’s “legitimate free WiFi” is way down the list of available WiFi connections and there are a bunch of similar sounding and suspicious sounding “free WiFi” connections available.
More than 3-years ago I was sitting in my favorite Starbucks (hi, my name is Eric and I haven’t had a Starbucks since December 1 2015) and noticed a flakey person come in with a laptop and a black box. They sat down and plugged in. Soon they had established a very strong WiFi hotspot that was interfering with the Starbucks WiFi. I noticed people going to the counter to complain and they were being told to just reconnect to the WiFi. Well you know what WiFi they reconnected to? That’s right, the WiFi thief.
Long story short, I went around and asked people what WiFi they were connected to and explained the error of their ways. I then went to the flake and told him his scam was up as a police officer who frequents that Starbucks came in and proceeded to tell the fellow the error of his ways and then noticed the baggy of herb on his table. The rest is a small moment in history, but still occurs every day many times.
Lesson: There Is No Such Thing As Free WiFi.
Yes, VPN is the way to go on a public free WiFi. I use a paid one to get throughput and a variety of servers.
For my purposes I usually travel with my Chromebook. I use Chrome Remote Desktop to connect to home or work PCs. Email is run on those machines not on the Chrome browser on the Chromebook. All forums discussions about security seem to suggest it is a safe product. Just shy of 4 years and so far so good.
@dadcooks, thanks for that link. I’ve left that sort of thing for my parents in the hands of my sisters who actually live in the same area code, and interact with them, but clearly there are gaps. A search for passports revealed the same sort of detritus in the “secret document hiding place” as in the article, and NO passports.
For those of us here, include your online accounts and personas and any last posts you might want taken care of. There are still RBT accounts online that Barbara hasn’t accessed or taken control of, or even known about. Bob took care of that, as most of us do, and now it’s a bit of a treasure hunt. You may not care if you leave behind zombie accounts and log ins, but your survivors might.
Case in point, my wife went looking for a video on repairing an issue with our [old] clothes washing machine. She found a very helpful vid on youtube, made by an open and affable guy, that was several years old. In the comments it became clear he had died shortly after the vid, and unexpectedly. His wife chose to leave the account active, and the video up as a way to remember her husband and continue his desire to help people.
Of course, digital continuity is top of my mind at the moment, for obvious reasons.
nick
@nick, glad to hear that at least you and I got some benefit from my link regarding lessons learned from an eldercare emergency.
The devil is in the details and the necessity to keep things up to date. I am going to make it a point to at least annually (I plan to do it as I prepare to do taxes each year) review all the paperwork my wife and kids will rely on when I pass or become a looney-tune.
It was 49 F when I left the office last night. It was 56 F by the time that I got to HEB. Way cooler down by the river AND out in the sticks..
I can already see several areas I need to take care of, you might too.
Review the state Medicaid laws where the elder person lives, and pay careful attention to the sections about what happens to assets when the state gets involved in paying for long term care such as a nursing home.
Also, about 1/4 states have ancient laws about what responsibility the children have wrt the parent’s care. You want to be aware of those in your state and that of the elder. Granted, these are probably in the same dusty statute books as unenforced laws such as those prohibiting unmarried couples cohabitating, but they’re there none the less.
You know the states are going to get desperate as budgets get tighter. In some places, my generation faces a faustian bargain with Social Security — Either pay up or our mothers, Allison Janney’s character from “I Tonya”, gets moved in with us at gunpoint.
There are some important points to consider in this article, for you and your “elders” if they are still around. Important points made about thinking they were prepared (pay particular attention to the paragraphs related to trusts) when in fact in many areas they had not followed through with all the had to be done.
I can already see several areas I need to take care of, you might too.
https://www.thebillfold.com/2018/03/5-lessons-from-an-eldercare-emergency/
Hey thanks for that article ! Wow, what a nightmare ! I had no idea of the medical transport costs.
My wife is living in a partial version of this with her 85 year old dad. Finding paperwork has been a nightmare since she had to put him in a nursing home four years ago. She only has control of three of his eight bank accounts (his girlfriend has control over one of the remaining five).
My wife just gave her father’s ten year Chrysler minivan which has been sitting in his garage for four years to her nephew. They are having to recreate the title since she cannot find it. She cannot find the titles on any of his dozen ? real estate properties. Apparently he gave the titles to somebody (not a relative) for safekeeping and cannot remember who it was.
My wife has gotten his 20+ stocks and real estates now sent to her. But she still gets surprise bills and does not know if they are legit or not. Most are legit to this point.
And now my wife is thinking about moving her Dad to Sugar Land when her sister moves to Groesbeck in August (her sister lives ten miles away from her dad). She will have to move him in a medical transport since he is essentially paralyzed from the high waist on down.
Review the state Medicaid laws where the elder person lives, and pay careful attention to the sections about what happens to assets when the state gets involved in paying for long term care such as a nursing home.
There is a five year lookback at asset transfers here in Texas. They will get the money, one way or another if Grandma “gave” $10K to her “beloved” grandson two years before she went into a nursing home on Medicaid.
On the other hand, if Mom invests $250K in a business with her oldest son and the business goes bankrupt, that does seem to be lookback proof. The instance that I am privy to does cross state lines though from Colorado to Texas. And the guardian changed in the middle as the other siblings sued their older brother for bankrupting mom. The settlement was that he dropped out of the guardianship at no financial cost to him.
It is going to get very interesting when Social Security gets means tested in the USA in a few years. Seniors will be divesting their assets to continue getting their SS check. Lots of fraud will be committed then.
My wife is living in a partial version of this with her 85 year old dad. Finding paperwork has been a nightmare since she had to put him in a nursing home four years ago. She only has control of three of his eight bank accounts (his girlfriend has control over one of the remaining five).
Texas has some crazy laws. About 14 years ago, my father-in-law died at UT Southwestern in Dallas, and his girlfriend, his *nurse anesthesiologist* on a pace maker procedure, ended up with the bulk of his life insurance while the estate ate the bills for his care.
One guess who was on the respiration bag during his final code.
All perfectly legal. It was up to us to sue the hospital which, under TX law, was only required to “discourage” the relationship.
My parents have learned from past situations: family members who died intestate or with wills but hadn’t crossed all the “T”s and dotted all the “I”s. They have gone through all the trouble of putting together a binder (we refer to it as “The Doomsday Book”) with all pertinent info on bank accounts, insurance policies, pensions, final wishes, attorney, etc. They regularly update it and a second copy is kept at my sister’s house. I have very organized parents.
Now I really need to get off my duff and do the same thing. It was never really that important to me since I am single and have no children. And for many years I had minimal assets. But now I have someone close to me and more things (a house, 401K, life insurance policies etc). Part of my benefit package at work is legal help to take care of this sort of thing for little or no cost so I might as well take advantage of it.
It would be criminal to have the state get your estate. Like giving money to a crackhead, they just can’t control themselves. Starve the beast.
n
The beast has power. The beast cannot starve.
“Katy gun range pokes fun at Dick’s Sporting Goods’ AR-15 policy on store marquee”
https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/business/article/Katy-Boyert-Shooting-Dick-s-gun-range-AR-15-12737985.php
Sweet ! I won’t be shopping at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
You know the states are going to get desperate as budgets get tighter.
Been through this with my aunt. When she needed to go into a nursing home the look back period was only three years, changing to five years within the next couple of months in TN. At about the 3.2 year mark looking back I had transferred a large sum of money out of her bank account into mine to pay for her assisted living. I found out later that was a bad idea as the state does not care what you used the money for it was still considered a transfer and the state would demand the money. Should have created a trust.
Anyway when I went to put her on medicaid as she was out of money the state insisted that I provide records for five years. I had to remind them that the current rules were only three years. State office said no, because they were changing they could look back five years now. I told the guy to fork(-or+uc) off. I went to another office where they clearly stated it was three years.
Even then the state demanded that her VA money (dropping from $1K to 90.00 a month) was theirs to keep. I had to get the VA to write a nasty-gram to the state. After that the state said that was correct. The state knew, they were just hoping that I did not.
It would be criminal to have the state get your estate.
The state will do everything they can to get your money and assets. The state will even do stuff that is flat out illegal and force you to get a lawyer at significant expense to set things right. The state know this. They take $10K they are not supposed to take knowing full well that you will not hire a lawyer for $15K to get the money back.
legal help to take care of this sort of thing for little or no cost
It is especially important for you as you have no family that can lay claim to your assets. Without some type of legal document, kept with someone that you can trust, upon your demise the state will take everything with much joy.
She only has control of three of his eight bank accounts
She can have him declared incompetent at which point she can get control of all the accounts. A doctor has to sign off on the paperwork and your wife would have to go before a judge to have the declaration made. Once that is done the judge can appoint your wife with what is effectively a power of attorney and with that she can get access to all the accounts. Even accounts that your father’s girlfriend controls if your father’s name is on the account. Your wife becomes him as far as the bank is concerned and your wife can have the girlfriend’s name removed from the account. Your father will no longer be able to make any changes or decisions about the account because of the incompetency declaration.
It was necessary for me to do that with my aunt for the social security and retirement benefits from the phone company.
You may not care if you leave behind zombie accounts and log ins, but your survivors might.
I store all that information in LastPass. My son has emergency access. All he has to do is sign in and an email is sent to me. If I don’t respond within three hours then his access will be granted. All my account passwords, bank accounts, credit cards, etc. are available in LastPass. Financial information is stored in Quicken which my son can access on my computer. There are no hidden accounts.
I also have a will in which everything goes to my wife is she is still alive or to my son if neither one of us is alive. He has a copy in a sealed envelope as does a friend. Did it myself and had it notarized and registered with the county in which I live. No need for a lawyer as it is a simple will.
Texas has some crazy laws. About 14 years ago, my father-in-law died at UT Southwestern in Dallas, and his girlfriend, his *nurse anesthesiologist* on a pace maker procedure, ended up with the bulk of his life insurance while the estate ate the bills for his care.
That sucks. I assume that she had a will signed by him, witnessed, and notarized ? I have heard of this happening in caretaker cases.
I have been trying to get my wife to go to a judge and get guardianship over her father. She is not interested in doing this.
On the other hand, he is 85 and his girlfriend is 92. They have been dating for around 15 years. They went on cruises and all kinds of trips everywhere until he had a severe event four years ago. She does not want to marry him as her husband was an American airlines pilot captain and upon remarriage she loses all of his benefits and pension. She does visit my FIL almost every day and provides much comfort to him. But she hates my sister-in-law with a passion so my SIL has cut back the visiting of her dad to once per week so that SIL does not see the girlfriend. My wife and I are not happy about that.
She only has control of three of his eight bank accounts
She can have him declared incompetent at which point she can get control of all the accounts. A doctor has to sign off on the paperwork and your wife would have to go before a judge to have the declaration made. Once that is done the judge can appoint your wife with what is effectively a power of attorney and with that she can get access to all the accounts. Even accounts that your father’s girlfriend controls if your father’s name is on the account. Your wife becomes him as far as the bank is concerned and your wife can have the girlfriend’s name removed from the account. Your father will no longer be able to make any changes or decisions about the account because of the incompetency declaration.
Would you like to talk to my wife ? She was daddy’s girl and there is no way she can declare her daddy to be incompetent. She does have a full power of attorney that was witnessed and notarized which she thinks is good enough. Yes, it is revocable.
I’m pretty sure Medi-whatever has a 5 year look back. I can see their reasoning…. I don’t have to agree, but.
My sisters cleaned out the valuables. Silverware, Dad’s ton of Franklin Mint stuff, his guns, and tools. Next door neighbor said “man, those two ladies hauled a lot of stuff out of that house”. Then the sisters moved and had a niece mail Mom’s car keys. This is the Mom that can’t drive anymore.
Mom didn’t probate the will when Dad died. She didn’t see any reason. So. Now Dad is off of the deed to the house/land and I’m on it. Same for the van. Bluebook says the van is worth $450. Tax folks says the house and land is worth $45,000…. but it’s been locked since Dad turned 65, almost 30 years ago.
It’s going to be interesting when Mom passes.
My tail lamp housing grommets arrived today. 25 for $14.68 including postage vs $7.50 or so for two. Since all four are the same age, I wanted four grommets. As a bonus, the box contained 26 grommets. Yeah, I counted them. It just happened. 🙂 I’m cool with 22 “free” grommets. I have a friend with a truck the same age, if he needs grommets, I have them.
The easiest way I found to remove the old grommets is to use an old, dull, missing a point on one side pair of dykes. Cut/nip the lip in a couple of place and push the old grommet through. Be gentle and don’t scratch the paint. The new parts pop in.
That sucks. I assume that she had a will signed by him, witnessed, and notarized ? I have heard of this happening in caretaker cases.
Insurance forms, submitted within a few days of his death.
The signatures looked funny so my wife and her sister challenged the last-minute beneficiary change in court. They lost but kept the money out of the girlfriend’s hands for four years after my father-in-law’s passing.
Would you like to talk to my wife ?
Nope, not for a second. I am facing some of the same issues with my wife when dealing with her mother. Not to the same level as her father but along the same lines. The MIL needs to get into an adult living facility and get out of that crappy house built by Ray Ellison as cheaply as possible in 1950. The place has not been maintained properly and has issues which the MIL refuses to resolve.
The MIL has also become somewhat of a packrat, almost hoarder level. Half of the insides of that house needs to be dumpster-ized. But MIL will do nothing and spousal unit will not step and force the issue. Not hurting anyone but MIL so it is easier for me to just ignore.
So I understand your response. I should have known better.
So I understand your response. I should have known better.
Nope, all of our situations are a little different. I appreciate the different perspective. My wife is living in denial as her father does talk to her when she calls him 2 or 3 times a week. But he has definitely faded a lot. And his short term memory is very spotty.
My father told me that if my FIL’s girlfriend figures out that he is worth almost a million, she will drag a preacher in there and marry my FIL in a New York minute. Then my wife’s inheritance goes away. I doubt it but who knows. She got nothing when her mother died but he gave a rent house to her sister.
And the people at the nursing home call FIL’s girlfriend Mrs. FIL. That is getting close to common law marriage.
Today’s project included SWMBO’s doctor appointment (about an hour away), and then lunch at the ‘101 Diner’ in Sequim. Then back home to work on a finishing the printing of a hardbound book for a client. Got that done, and off to the printer.
I have been working on a refresh of The Home Scientist site, which is close to getting ready to go live. I have to move the hosting and DNS records for the domain, and the ‘buy now’ buttons need to be re-worked. But the design and the main pages of the site are mostly completed – some minor tweaks. (All of this with Barbara’s approval, of course.)
The new site code is a bit more modular, which allows me to make global design changes without having to change every single page. That will save time in the long run.
Rainy this morning – we got about an inch. This afternoon is mostly cloudy, with the clouds traveling in their usual SW to NE direction. Temps about 48F with overnight lows of around 24F. Nice view out the window towards Mutiny Bay.
As for the discussion on ‘elder-planning’, I really need to get my NotHereAnymore.com site finished up. It allows one to send messages and information after one’s passing. That info-sending needs to be tweaked a bit; it’s been in my “Real Soon Now” file for a while.
The new site code is a bit more modular, which allows me to make global design changes without having to change every single page. That will save time in the long run.
I had a guy update my website a few years ago. He took out all of my carefully included html files and replaced everything with huge static html web pages. I was ready to murder him. I eventually went through each web page and ripped out the common elements and recreated the include pages. It was an exercise in frustration.
Been mostly lurking but hope to post more often.
I’ve got a couple of unrelated questions I don’t know where else to ask. I’ve tried DuckDuckGo but didn’t find anything useful. One is in this post and I start another later for the other question.
My wife was placed in an Alzheimer’s unit in on January 12th then that evening I got a kidney stone and had two emergency room and 6 office visits over 25 days before that was behind me.
Because I was on pain killers for the first 25 days of my wife’s stay in the nursing home I was not able to take our 13 year old dog to visit her. The dog was very upset that my wife disappeared. The dog refused to sleep at the foot of the bed and searched for her constantly for two weeks. The dog has calmed down and now seems somewhat adjusted to the two of us living alone.
My wife does not miss the dog as far as I can tell (she rarely knows me or her daughters and seldom speaks.
I’m concerned about how the dog will handle visiting my wife. I can’t emotionally handle more than a couple of visits a week and it won’t be possible to take the dog every time. I don’t want to upset the dog.
Does anyone have any experience with something similar to this?
Thanks in advance.
Dad’s ton of Franklin Mint stuff,
Probably worth about 10-20% of what it cost. The collectables market is not very good and dropping.
Anything franklin mint sits at the estate sales. Pretty much anything marketed as a collectible isn’t (except for the first generation who bought it.)
@robert sprowl- someone here must have gone thru this same thing. I know we asked about collin and RBT. you see stories of the faithful dog waiting for the master to return, and you see some that just seem to move on to a new family, new master. They accept it, but don’t forget the first. My little dog is 9, we’ve had him since he was weaned, and he still went nuts for the boy who lived in the house where he was born… even years later. You have my sincere sympathy for the pain and difficulty you are going through. It is a devastating illness.
nick
@Robert Sprowl,
My mother had Alzheimer’s, so I have some idea of what you are going through. You have my sympathy as well. My mom didn’t have any pets so I don’t have any ideas about the dog.
@Robert Sprowl:
Does anyone have any experience with something similar to this?
Each situation is different but I can offer my experience.
I went through something similar when dealing with my aunt who had severe dementia. A true diagnosis of Alzheimer’s cannot be done without an autopsy. She also had a small dog.
We put my aunt in assisted living as she was no longer able to live by herself and was causing problems for herself and the neighbors. She was livid at what that we removed her from her home and placed her in a facility. Even with her dog. The facility allowed the dog but charged $10.00 a day to have the dog.
Eventually the dog started causing problems. We removed the dog and took the dog to the vet and had the dog put down. The dog was up in years and had health issues that we did not want to deal with. After the dog was put down my aunt condition took an immediate step for the worse. Any major event will generally cause an increase in the severity of the condition.
When we put my aunt in assisted living her doctor from Port Townsend (where she had lived) said she would not last a year. He provided us with two folders of medical records, one for a new doctor here and one for the facility. He was wrong on the life estimate as my aunt spent 6 years in assisted living. The next 4.5 years were spent in a nursing home. The doctor’s estimate of one year extended to 10.5 years.
I can offer some advice that is fairly consistent among dementia patients.
Number 1 is do not get offended or upset at what the person does. They are no longer the person you remember. They will lash out, be very angry, spiteful, downright mean. It is not them anymore. Try to not be hurt or upset and just roll with the wrath. You said goodbye to the person you knew when that person was committed to a care facility.
Number 2 is do not let the situation control your life. You are still living and need to carry on for yourself. Your life is your life as that person you once had in your life has left.
Number 3 is be prepared for the long haul in dealing with the issue. The progression of the disease can be slow. You may wish for a quick resolution but it may not happen.
Number 4 is when dealing with visits. At some point the visits will upset the person when you are there. At that point it is best to just not visit. Sounds cruel and uncaring but it is not. Visit the facility to check on the care but restrict visiting to the person. This goes along with the person you once knew is no longer present. You are visiting a stranger and you are a stranger to them.
Number 5 goes hand in hand with number. Do not listen to criticism from people when you no longer visit. Until they have walked in your shoes and dealt with the issue their opinion is worthless. If the people cannot support you in your decision to not visit, or visit rarely, they are not worth listening to anything they say.
Number 6 is to take what others say, including myself, with a grain of salt. Every case is different. It is your situation, your life, your decisions. No one, including myself, is really in a position to state what you are doing is right or wrong. I can only offer from my experience and such experience may not be suitable for what you are experiencing.
Good luck with the situation. Stay strong, remember the good times, ignore the bad times that are currently happening and the really bad times that will be forthcoming.
I’m concerned about how the dog will handle visiting my wife. I can’t emotionally handle more than a couple of visits a week and it won’t be possible to take the dog every time. I don’t want to upset the dog.
Does anyone have any experience with something similar to this?
I have a catty corner experience. We have gone up to Dallas as a family a couple of times since my father-in-law went into the nursing home four years ago due to not being able to walk anymore. We don’t travel as much now together since my daughter took a turn for the worse about five years ago (she has Lyme disease).
When we do that, we take our dog with us. We have taken our dog into the nursing home twice to see FIL. He knows her well (she is now 15) and has enjoyed being with her over the years. But the two of them just did not connect both times. So, it was no big deal for him. He enjoyed seeing us and Lady but he faded rather quickly.
I wish the best for your wife. Two of my relatives had Alzheimers, it is very emotional to talk with someone and get no interaction.