Cold and wet. Again. Or at least cold. Chance we might have another dry day like yesterday, with wind and sun. But we are definitely headed toward much colder. Because, it’s JANUARY and the middle of winter. Even in Texas.
Despite a nap, I did manage to get stuff done yesterday. I did a drop off at my auctioneer. I went by my storage unit and got some stuff out. Ran the kid to her things. Even stopped at a regular Goodwill store with her and got some T-shirts for her, some nice Allen Edmond shoes for me, a couple of LPs for resale, and a piece of artwork that is worth more than I thought. Case of beer money, nothing huge, but it definitely didn’t look like anything more than a pop culture print. I mention it mainly because I’ve said there was little left in the stores worth buying, but yesterday I got lucky.
I also met another pipe enthusiast. The guy in front of me at checkout had a pipe rack in his cart. I mentioned it, and it turns out he was buying for himself. Young guy too. Transitioning from cigars to pipes… which seems to be the path a lot of commentors on the youtube pipe channels are taking. It’s cheaper, smells better in a room, and there are cultural aspects that I’m trying to sort out… but it’s definitely a growing subculture.
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One interesting aspect of my shopping trip was D1’s reaction… She’s like “you just talked to that guy, and had a conversation and now you exchanged phone numbers? How does that happen so fast?? He volunteered his number and offered to buy something from you!” (guy was interested in seeing the pipes I’ve been working on to flip) “and then you had a chat with the cashier about California and the places you used to live and found out where she lived, how long she’s been here, and all that, just like that???” “Is that how it is for adults?” “How do you make friends so quickly??”
Well, I didn’t make friends, I made contact with people that COULD be turned into friendships… if I was looking I guess I could have further pursued the cashier (female), and I’ve already exchanged a couple of pipe related texts with the guy. I didn’t do anything weird or tricky, I just said “hi” in a way that engaged them for a couple of minutes, and had a brief friendly chat. I found a shared interest, pipes, and living in California, used that to make a few remarks, and let them make a few back. Friendly chitchat, nothing out of the ordinary or unusual… “making conversation” is what it used to be called. Except that I guess it IS out of the ordinary for kids today, and maybe for adults too. The phone number exchange would have been business cards just a couple of years ago, or if the guy was closer to my age, but it is easier for one person to just send a text to the other person’s phone, and then get a reply. It occurs to me that it’s the third time in a month that I had a younger person share contact info with me that way.
I wasn’t always able to just have a quick interaction with people like that. I had to work at it for a long time and specifically in work and business settings. That helped in non-business stuff too, and now I just do it. Could be because I sit at home alone so much of the day that I make up for lack of in person contact by trying to connect for at least a moment with others when I have a chance. Or it could be that the things that kept me from doing it in the past are no longer important to me. Not caring about some things can be very freeing… And if you have a lot of interactions, each one has less “weight” for lack of a better word- less of me is at risk in each one. In any case, it is definitely a skill that can be developed. Given that we live in the world, getting along with other people in it is something I think is important.
And it’s part of what I mean when I say “Meatspace baby!” When push comes to shove, who you know and who knows you is going to be vitally important. Heck it’s important now. Almost everyone I know had gotten jobs by word of mouth or through acquaintances, not through job boards, or services. Most people like to help out people they know and like. Most opportunities come when someone decides to share something… If your interpersonal skills are weak, it’s time to work on them. We are all going to need all the help we can get to get through the bad times.
Stack up some skills, and widen your circle of casual contacts. You never know what might come your way.
nick