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of 21 May 2001
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Monday,
21 May 2001
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I received a very disturbing email late last
night from a reader. That mail included links to some web sites that
raised questions about the existence of Kaycee Nicole, claiming that there
had never been a Kaycee and that the whole story had been made up for some
unknown reason. My first reaction was disgust that anyone would increase
the pain of Kaycee's family and friends by doing something like this.
After all, I know people whom I trust who had spoken to Kaycee on the
phone. I knew Kaycee's real name, Kaycee Nicole Swenson, and even had a
"private" photograph of her.
Well, it now appears that the doubters were right to be concerned. I
don't know the full story. I suspect only those directly involved do.
Perhaps none of us ever will. But the best I can determine is that there
really was a 19-year-old girl who died recently. Her real name was not
Kaycee, although she used that as a nickname. Nor was her last name
Swenson. Kaycee's "mother"--Debbie Swenson of Peabody,
Kansas--appears to be real enough, and it seems that Debbie is the one who
actually wrote Kaycee's journal entries. Ms. Swenson's apparent goal was
to tell Kaycee's story, and that of two other people she had known who
died of cancer. So Ms. Swenson spun together the stories of the three
victims and published it as Kaycee's journal.
As best I can tell, this was not a fraud in the usual sense. Ms.
Swenson was not attempting to profit financially from her tale. And that,
of course, is the reason that I and thousands of other people swallowed
the tale hook, line, and sinker. It seemed as though the story must be
true. Otherwise it was pointless. Had there been some solicitation for
money--perhaps for hospital bills or whatever--I would have been
suspicious, as would have many others. But there was none of that. Here is
what Ms. Swenson herself says:
Her name was not Kaycee and she was not my
daughter, but I loved her as if she had been. And I grieve her loss.
The blog was about the lives of three people who
suffered, one with breast cancer, one with leukemia, and one with Liver
cancer. Each were strong, vibrant, and loving individuals. Each were
real. Each died much too soon.
I am to blame for wanting to tell their stories. I
am to blame for weaving the lives of all three together. I chose to
share their voices as one rather than three separately. I wrote their
thoughts, their humorous sides, their struggles, their fears.
If you knew each of them do not for a minute doubt
you knew the real person. It is only within these blogs that I tried to
convey their silent voices.
I alone bear the shame for what I have done, but it
was not done for any reason other than sharing the love for life they
gave to those they loved.
I would like to clear up some falsehoods that have
been spread around: there was never a paypal account, there was never an
amazon wish list, if donations were made they were not made to me or any
other person, if anyone asked you to contribute to a trip, or a fund of
any kind it did not derive from this blog.
Randy (bwg) only posted what I sent to be posted,
so I am the only person who is to blame.
If you sent something it was passed on to the
appropriate family.
My intentions were good, but that does not begin to
excuse me for what I have done. My only desire was to share their
triumphs and tragedies in a way that showed their strength, the strength
of their families. Those were not false. What they went through was
real, I felt a great need to tell the stories of three courageous people
who wanted nothing but to be well and live happily into their prime.
What I did was wrong and I apologise for it. I
regret any pain I caused but I do not regret putting their thoughts out
to be read.
There were more and deeper parts to their lives, I
did them a grave disservice.
I carry the shame for my actions. The last thing I
would like to say is I'm sorry.
The real *Kaycee* is the true author to her poetry.
It was her nickname and she was the last of the truly beautiful who
those of you read grew to love.
I was not her birth mother but I loved her with all
my heart.
Many people have said they feel foolish for being gullible. I don't
feel foolish, and I don't think anyone else should either. We were all
taken in by an extraordinary story. Not that there's anything unusual
about 19-year-old girls dying of cancer, unfortunately. Nor are good
writers all that uncommon. What was extraordinary was the combination of a
dying 19-year-old girl, her attitude and outlook on life, and her ability
to remain upbeat and to write compellingly about her life and her feelings
while going through hell. The real story, apparently, is that Debbie took
it upon herself to tell the story of a very real, very frightened
19-year-old girl. How much of Kaycee's journal is her real words and
thoughts and how much is fiction we don't know.
When I finally went back to bed about 11:30 last night, I woke Barbara
up and told her what I knew at that point. She commented that at least
some good had come of the whole thing. Like many others, we sent a
contribution to the Kansas Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, so perhaps
others will eventually benefit.
I'm not going to pursue this. If someone takes the trouble to find out
what really happened, I'll take the time to listen, but otherwise I'll
just write this off as an unfortunate incident. If you want to read more
about this, you can read the MetaFilter
thread that got everything started, Debbie's
journal page, and Randy
Vanderwoning's journal page. Randy, incidentally, seems to have been
as much a victim as anyone. My own belief is that Debbie Swenson had good
intentions, but chose a poor way to express them. So I think the best
thing to do is let it rest.
Yesterday I finished updating another chapter--this one 11 - CD-R and
CD-RW Drives--and sent it off to my editor. It's available for
download on the Subscribers Page
now. It's a 368 KB Word 2000 document. If you care to read and comment on
it, I'd love to hear what you have to say, particularly since this chapter
is hugely expanded from the current edition. There's a link on the
subscribers' page that you can click to provide feedback in the
Subscribers Only forum on the HardwareGuys.com messageboard. I've
already started updating Chapter 12, DVD Drives. That one should be
up in the next day or two.
If you're not a subscriber and want to become one, click
here.
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Tuesday,
22 May 2001
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I'm getting very tired of the security
vulnerabilities in Microsoft software. This morning, yet
another problem cropped up, this one because opening an RTF document
in Word can execute a macro regardless of how you've configured macro
protection. There's a downloadable
patch, but I don't think I'll install it. It requires SP1 or higher be
applied to Office 2000, and I don't want to apply that because it kills
Outlook's ability to handle attachments (or so I recall).
This after I spent quite a bit of time yesterday installing,
configuring, and playing with Norton
Internet Security 3.0 (NIS). Although I installed it on my system,
it's really for Barbara. But before I install something like that on her
system, I use my own as a guinea pig to make sure it isn't going to hose
things entirely. So far, it appears to be working fine, although its
footprint is huge. There appear to be a dozen or more related services
running, which cumulatively demand quite a bit of RAM. Oh, well. RAM is
free nowadays, or nearly so. At least my CPU utilization is still in the
0% to 1% range when the system is idle, although it does spike when I do
anything Internet related.
One of the components of the product is Norton AntiVirus (NAV), which I
installed and configured to run full-time. I did a LiveUpdate to get the
most recent virus sigs and then had NAV do a scan of my entire system. Six
hours and nine minutes and nearly a quarter million files (!) later, it
had given my system a clean bill of health, including all mapped network
drives. For now, at least, it seems that all our main systems are safe and
not infected with anything. I didn't bother with all the subsidiary
systems. None of them have drives mapped to them, and they don't matter
much anyway. They don't have Outlook installed on them, and we never use
the browsers on them, so they're very unlikely to be infected by anything.
NIS has some very nice features, including an ad-blocker that appears
to work and a personal firewall which, if not up to ZoneAlarm standards,
at least seems a worthwhile addition to a system. It also intercepts
scripts, ActiveX controls, etc. and allows you to accept/reject or accept
all from the site in question. I'm going to leave NIS running on my system
for a few days or a week before I consider it safe to install on Barbara's
system. We'll see.
I blame all of these problems on Microsoft, not so much because of the
gaping security holes they've left in their implementations of scripting,
Internet integration, and so on, but because they made those features a
part of their products in the first place. Why can't there be some choices
when one installs Office?
"Install scripting support? Y/N"
"Install Internet integration features? Y/N"
And so on. I don't want Word 2000 to run scripts or be
integrated with the Internet. Those features buy me nothing, and so
needlessly make me vulnerable to security threats. Feature creep used to
be relatively harmless. At worst, it meant that the new version required
more disk space and memory. But for the last couple of years, Microsoft
feature creep has actually become dangerous. Worse yet, Microsoft doesn't
make clear what the dangers are and how one can disable unneeded and
dangerous features, assuming that they can be disabled at all. Microsoft
needs to provide a "Secure Install" option that excludes all the
dangerous stuff. That they don't provide such an option is irresponsible
of them.
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Wednesday,
23 May 2001
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The Kaycee Nicole fraud is disintegrating
further. It now appears that Debbie's "confession" was just
another pack of lies. The FBI may get involved and it's possible that mail
fraud charges may be filed. It seems that the original fraud was
perpetrated by Debbie's daughter and a friend. Debbie found out about it.
Instead of doing what any normal adult would have done, exposing the fraud
and apologizing, Debbie took what amounted to a teenage prank and turned
it into a widespread fraud. If you want more information, here's a good
starting point.
Thanks, incidentally, to everyone who's told me what a gullible idiot I
am for believing the Kaycee saga. Interestingly, none of you said a word
about it before the story broke. But it's reassuring to learn that you
knew all along.
This is truly strange. Yesterday evening, Barbara shouted that her
Quicken data had been truncated. She typically fires up Quicken every
weekend to do bills and balance the checkbook. She didn't get to it last
weekend, so the last time she'd used Quicken was the preceding weekend.
When she fired it up yesterday, the most recent entry was for 12/20/2000.
She's sure that she used it the weekend of 5/13/2001, and had transactions
entered up through that date.
Okay, no problem, I thought. I went to the \databack directory on my
own system--where I keep an xcopy backup of the data directories on the
file server--hoping to find the file version from the preceding weekend,
but the most recent data file date I found there was 1/15/2001 (!). So I
stuck in the backup tape from this last weekend and did a restore. The
file dates were all 1/15/2001. So I stuck in the tape I'd made 5/13/2001.
Same thing, all Quicken files were dated 1/15/2001. So I went back to
tapes from 5/7/2001 and 4/29/2001. Same deal. All Quicken files were dated
1/15/2001. That makes no sense, because those tapes hadn't been touched
since they were made, and Barbara had entered new data in several Quicken
sessions since the various tapes were made.
So the only thing I could figure is that Quicken had somehow been using
data stored in a local directory on Barbara's system, rather than the
usual location on theodore (our file server). I searched Barbara's system,
along eventually with every other system, looking for files named q*.q??
(the format Quicken uses for data files) and turned up nothing other than
a bunch of copies of the files dated 1/15/2001.
I have no idea what's going on here, or *how* it could be going on. My
first thought, of course, was a virus, but upon consideration that makes
no sense. A virus couldn't alter data on tapes that had been made prior to
infection. I'm beginning to think that Quicken itself (Barbara still uses
Quicken99) decided to do this. I've never trusted Intuit--they're even
more obnoxious than Microsoft--and this is something I wouldn't put past
them.
So right now, Barbara is faced with 4 months of lost Quicken data, and
no way to recover it short of returning to the check register and
re-entering it. I told her the hell with that. I've never liked Intuit,
and if she has to re-enter data manually, it'll be into something other
than Quicken. The only real alternative I know of is Microsoft Money, but
that seems to be jumping from the fire into the frying pan.
I sent out an appeal to my friends on our backchannel mailing list, and
they made some suggestions. Unfortunately, none of those panned out. It
can't be a problem with Norton. I didn't install Norton on Barbara's
system or on the server where the data files resided. And anyway I only
installed it on my own system Monday night, and I have tapes from weeks
ago that are all showing the 1/15/2001 date on the Quicken data files. I
think Quicken did this itself.
Someone else asked about the data Quicken backed up to floppies. I told
Barbara years ago not to bother backing up to floppies. Her data resides
on the file server, with duplicates on several other systems' hard drives,
on tape, on CD-R, and on DVD-RAM. It's not a matter of having lost the
data. It's a matter of having 20+ copies of the data, but all of which are
truncated. If it weren't for the file dates, I'd think that it was
something in Quicken99 itself that was causing the problem. I suppose that
still might be so, possibly by design, but three different copies of
Quicken on three different machines all show the same results.
Dr. Keyboard has been talking
about honour lately. Apparently, that concept is becoming increasingly
meaningless nowadays. My father taught me that doing what one said one
would do was simply part of being a man. Nothing special, nothing that
deserved acclaim or reward, just part of the job. The old saying is that a
man's word is his bond. If he agrees to do something, he must do it to the
best of his ability, regardless of his own convenience, changed
circumstances, or whatever. If he fails in that duty for lack of trying,
he has no honor.
Which is not to say that honor demands success. It's quite possible to
undertake to do something, try one's best, and still fail. The shame is
not in failing, but in not trying. Back in the old days, if a man acted
dishonorably, the offended party might run him through with a sword. If
questioned, he might explain, "He had no honor." That was
sufficient explanation then, and it should be now. Acting honorably is
easy enough that anyone can do it. One simply does the right thing,
regardless of personal cost.
I guess I've been insulated from this new-fangled contempt for honor.
All of the people I deal with, or at least all of those I deal with more
than once, are honorable people. I run the rest of them through.
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Thursday,
24 May 2001
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This morning at 6:00 a.m. I got up to use the
bathroom. When I returned to bed, I found that my place had been usurped
by Malcolm. I pushed him over toward Barbara to make room for me, and then
pulled the sheet, blanket, and bedspread over both of us, expecting
Malcolm to exit the bed quickly. He did, but not in the way I expected.
Instead, he quickly burrowed down to the end of the bed, turned left at
Albuquerque, and exited on Barbara's side at the foot of the bed.
If you're a high-tech employer in the Sunnyvale, California area,
you're in luck. Brian
Bilbrey is considering moving to a new employer. Check out his
resume.
[For those of you outside the US, a Buffy spoiler follows] We
finally got around to watching the fifth season finale of Buffy the
Vampire Slayer last night. Supposedly, the show is moving to another
network next year, but it's hard to see how since they killed off Buffy.
Well, we don't know that they killed her. She leapt from a high tower into
a world-destroying vortex. That'd certainly be enough to kill most people,
but Buffy isn't most people. We later watched the season finale of Angel,
where (perhaps coincidentally) the whole crew returned from another
dimension via a vortex that appeared quite similar to the one that ate
Buffy. And at the end of Angel, he returned home to find Willow waiting
for him. So perhaps it's back into the vortex for them. Either that, or
next season we'll have Faith the Vampire Slayer.
And speaking of Buffy, how some people's opinions have changed. On 30
December, 2000 Bob Walder gave Buffy a lukewarm endorsement:
And with lunch, we watch the first two episodes of
Buffy, from the first series. I have decided to give this a go because
of all the press Bob Thompson keeps giving it. I realise he is mainly
interested in Alyson Hannigan (and you really must take a look at
American Pie if you like her), but I figure there must be more to it
than that. And there is, I guess. In addition to the cast not being too
hard to look at, it's actually not nearly as bad as I thought it was
going to be - so I will stick it out for the rest of the series.
But Bob appears to have developed more interest in Buffy pretty
quickly. On 21
January, 2001, he says:
... we watch an episode of Buffy that we taped the
other night. Having recently watched the first series, I am now
confusing myself by switching between two more recent series running
concurrently on Sky and BBC2.
Then, on 22 May, 2001, Bob heads to the DVD store, saying:
I am after Buffy Series 2 (I can see Bob T going
green from here....)
Perhaps after Bob has a chance to see all of the Buffy episodes, he'll
reconsider his
criticism of my characterization of The Matrix as a plotless Buffy
rip-off.
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Friday,
25 May 2001
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For everyone who asked where the chapter I
planned to post is, I haven't finished it yet. I got sidetracked, as
sometimes happens, adding stuff to a couple of other chapters. So right
now I have three chapters in progress: 12, 13, and 14, on DVD Drives,
Hard Disk Interfaces, and Hard Disk Drives, respectively. I
hope to have at least two, and perhaps all three, posted by early next
week.
The Forsyth Astronomical Society is holding a public viewing at Pilot
Mountain state park tomorrow evening. We attended the last one, back in
February, as visitors, so this will be the first one we'll be attending as
members. It officially starts at dark, although there'll be a lot of
people there in the afternoon with telescopes set up for solar viewing.
When I asked Steve Wilson, the president of the club, when we needed to
show up, he recommended that we get there and get set up early to avoid
the rush. That actually makes sense, because there were quite a few
visitors there for the one in February, when the wind chill was something
like 14F (-10C), so I suppose the warm weather will draw a bigger
crowd.
Of course, the flip side is that there isn't a whole lot of good stuff
visible right now. The gas giants, Orion, and several other impressive
objects were up in February, but aren't now. Mars won't be a good evening
object for another month or two. We need to figure out something that'll
be worth looking at for the visitors. Enthusiasts love looking at the
faint fuzzies, but they're not likely to excite most of the visitors. I
suppose Luna will have to do. We'll set up with a 25mm eyepiece, which
provides about 50X magnification and a 1 degree true field on our
telescope. Luna is about 1/2 degree, so that degree of magnification will
make it impressively large while keeping it easy to track.
Duke Johnson, another long-time club member, tells me that we can
expect perhaps 150 visitors, so I'm hoping that we can convert at least a
couple percent of those from casual interest to active participation.
We'll see.
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Saturday,
26 May 2001
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The weather forecast is for clear skies, so
Barbara and I are off this afternoon to Pilot Mountain state park for the
public viewing sponsored by the Forsyth Astronomical Society. The forecast
for this evening is cool, with a low around 50F (10C). But we'll be up on
the mountain, perhaps 3,000 feet above sea level, which means it'll be
cooler still. If there's a breeze, the wind chill could be near freezing.
With it nearly June, it seems stupid to be taking blankets and warm
clothes along, but amateur astronomers get used to dressing warmly. After
all, we're standing under an open sky whose temperature is nearly absolute
zero regardless of the local temperature.
All the usual horrifying burglar warnings apply. Our house will be
guarded by three very territorial male dogs, which total 200 pounds
between them, and a nervous elderly armed woman. Today, I'm leaving my
mother with the Atchison 12 gauge. That's a full-auto shotgun with a
25-round drum magazine and a cyclic rate of about eight rounds a second.
The last time I left her with it, she accidentally turned the area into
open-plan by shooting out an entire wall (fortunately not a load-bearing
one). We're always very careful to announce ourselves when we get home.
Hmmm. The day starts with an ominous sign. I prepare to make a pot of
tea. I filled the carafe, walked over to the coffee maker, opened the lid,
and poured the water in. Unfortunately, the reservoir was already full of
water. I'll leave the reader to imagine the effect of adding 12 cups of
water to a 12-cup reservoir that already contains 12 cups of water.
That'll teach me to pour slowly.
More work today on the Hard Disk Interfaces chapter.
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Sunday,
27 May 2001
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We had a good time at the public observation
last night. The skies were clear, and the temperature never got below
about 50F (10C). At a guess, there were probably 200 or 300 visitors over
the course of the evening. Barbara and I took turns supervising our scope,
keeping it on the moon for most of the evening. We had a constant stream
of people stopping by to look at Luna, and occasionally had people waiting
in line. Others had their scopes tracking star clusters and galaxies.
Our Orion XT10 is a very popular scope. I expected that some people
would want to see one, and I wasn't disappointed. Half a dozen or so
people stopped by who mentioned that they were considering buying an Orion
XT Dobsonian, and all of them seemed happy with what they saw. I spoke at
length with a dozen or more people who were looking for general advice
about buying a scope, and invited 20 or more people and families to attend
a club meeting. Others were doing the same, so I suspect we might end up
with a fair crowd at the next meeting.
I also spent some time wandering around talking to other club members
and looking at their scopes. There were a lot of mid-size Schmidt/Maksutov
Cassegrains, of course, but my favorite telescope was Duke Johnson's
home-made Schiefspiegler (Duke quickly points out that he didn't
make it. He bought it from the guy who did.) I'd heard of Schiefspieglers,
but I never thought I'd actually meet one personally.
A Schiefspiegler is an off-axis Cassegrainian telescope, which means it
doesn't have the central obstruction common to most reflectors. That means
a Schiefspiegler has image quality similar to an apochromatic refractor,
with no diffraction spikes to degrade image resolution and contrast.
Schiefspieglers are excellent instruments for planetary observation,
splitting double stars, and just about any other task that would
ordinarily be thought of as the province of expensive apo refractors.
There are actually several kinds of Schiefspiegler, but I don't know
enough to tell which kind Duke has. A basic Schiefspiegler has two
mirrors, with the secondary about half the size of the primary, but there
are variants with three and even four mirrors. Many people have trouble
with the name (it's pronounced sheef-speegler), so they're usually called
"Shiefs" or "sheep sprinklers". That's a particularly
appropriate moniker, given the typically very odd appearance of these
scopes. Duke's is contained in a wooden box with many strange angles. I
can't believe I took my digital camera along and forgot to take any
pictures. Oh, well.
I'd better get to work on the laundry. I also want to get Chapter 12,
DVD Drives, finished and off to my editor today. I actually finished
Chapter 13, Hard Disk Interfaces, yesterday, so I'll probably have both of
those up on the subscriber page tomorrow.
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